Wesker's liberty city crack fic
by tobi the blarg monster
Summary: this is out of the box for me and its a co-op fic so im not entirely sure how fast its going to be updated. its labeled according to what its going to turn into. M for language and themes...perhaps other reasons later. NO FLAMES! its suppose to be stupid!
1. Chapter 1

The office was quiet that day. They all knew it was coming, and was just hoping they wouldn't be in the way of the fury when it happened. He sat in behind his desk, doing all his daily expectations. He, for one, was quite reliable for paperwork. His blue-grey eyes never leaving the papers for a second, even as someone just walked into his office.

"what is it", He spoke, stoic as ever. It really bothered him when people didn't knock. "Captain", came a voice directly in front of him. Normally he would have just continued, but the voice was incredibly unfamiliar. He glared up at the intruder to face a handful of paperwork being shoved in his face. "what the hell is this?", his words dripping with disgust at the disrespect being displayed towards him. Anyone in the police department knew better. So this was a complete stranger.

"these are your transfer papers Captain", the man spoke directly. The blond looked back up to glare at the man who looked a little like his underling, Chris, but far higher up and a much gruffer looking face.

"and you expect me to fill these out willingly?", a sharp twist on the Captains tongue as he angrily stared at the stranger.

"only if you wish to keep your job Wesker", he spat back, "orders from the higher power. Mandatory transfer to liberty city."

Disbelief ran through the Captains mind. "You're expected to arrive in the next three days. So I recommend filling these out and heading home to pack. I wish you luck Captain, that's a tough city. Odd one at that"

With that comment the Chris wannabe left without another word, or shutting the door. Wesker just looked to stare at the now mandatory transfer papers while running a hand through his always perfect hair. Half the people in the office were peering through the office door that was left wide open to see the reaction. All of them hated working for Wesker, he knew it and loved the power, but he never thought the day would come when he would lose that power.

Barry had leaned over his desk so far to get a glimpse of a priceless expression that he stumbled to not fall over. Wesker got up and slammed his door shut, then began on his new found paperwork.

\_/

/ \

**Two days after**

**First thing he saw getting off the train was a man running around in a speedo playing a guitar expecting to receive money from it. Yea, this was going to be difficult.**

**Before too much walking, more like after being disgusted by the people, he noticed a hotel not far off. He walked quickly, without much courtesy towards others, but that was just him being his natural self. He pretty much ran through the door. Only feeling incredibly lucky that it was a rather nice place. Classy…and since the station he was placed at was going to pay his housing fee for a year (that much he fought for) he may as well pick the nicest.**

"**Hello sir, how may I help you this evening?", a rather attractive woman asked from behind the counter.**

"**I would like the most expensive room available. For one." Wesker stared, looming at her. He wasn't exactly straight, but he was fluent in the art of seduction. And used it when he felt someone was week enough for him to easily prey on. The tougher ones were far more appealing though.**

"**yes sir", she spoke, breaking the blond from his devious thoughts, "we have a penthouse available if-"**

"**that'll do nicely. Reserve it for the next year starting today.", He interrupted.**

"**um, we cant exactly do that sir…", she wasn't sure how to approach him about it and it showed. **

**Wesker looked at her, blond locks of hair curling around a flawless face. A beauty, like himself. A tag on her left breast revealed her name, Hope. **

"**I have other forms of payment should you accept.", Wesker spoke, his voice becoming velvet honey to those who could hear him. He leaned over, glaring over his sunglasses at the pale woman.**

"**Y-yes sir", she quickly put him in the system as he continued to stare, the man growing a seductive smirk in the process. In a way, he would call himself a succubus. **

**She grabbed the key and reached over to hand it to him. Wesker grabbed key holding hand and pulled her to where she was bending over the counter and inhaled deeply. "lavender…I like it", he spoke the way he had earlier. "im a man of my word. Would you like to show me to my room?", he whispered. The receptionists face turning a beet red as he continued to talk. He let go as he knew he had won. She gripped the key tightly and began walking to the room. Wesker stalking quickly behind. 'hm, a brilliant way to start off anew id say', he spoke to himself, the smirk still perfectly in place.**

**\_/**

**/ \**


	2. Chapter 2

Toni Cipriani sat in his comfortable chair, relaxing as he watched the TV. As Capo of the Leone Crime Family, he had a lot on his mind, and sometimes he would just like to sit down, eat some pizza, and watch the news on his new HD TV. Guzzling down Pepsi-Cola, Toni put his feet up on the foot-rest and sighed.

"This is going to be a good weekend."

This of course, was a sarcastic statement. His boss, Salvatore Leone, was out of town, visiting relatives in Italy. Ma Cipriani was never gonna give him a break, and there was a new problem concerning those damn Triads in Chinatown.

Watching the TV, the news came on. In bright flashing letters read "Channel 12 News! Liberty City's Source of Information!", backed by an over-dramatic voice-over.

Then came the anchor, Ron Bennett. He was a smooth-talking man with a fine suit, slicked back hair, and a mustache that looked like it belonged on a porn star from the 1980's.

"Hi, I'm Ron Bennett, Channel 12 News. Tonight, we bring you breaking news. After fighting the New Jersey state legislature for years, Liberty City has finally agreed to comply with the ruling to legalize same-sex marriage. There is much rejoicing among the city's gay and lesbian community, although several religious groups such as the Los Illuminados and the Wolfwood Baptist Church are upset at the capitulation of City Hall. For years after New Jersey legalized same-sex marriage, Mayor O'Donovan and the City Council fought the decision and banned same-sex marriages within the city and metropolitan area."

Toni thought to himself

"Eh, same-sex marriage has been legalized in the city. Good for them. I just hope to God that Osmund Saddler and Los Illuminados don't throw a protest and make utter jackasses of themselves."

The anchor continued...

"In other news, the Liberty City Police Department's STARS team has got a new captain. Captain Albert Wesker, an experienced officer and former head of the STARS team in Raccoon City, West Virginia, has arrived in the city to take over STARS and help the LCPD fight our rampant crime problem. Channel 12 News went to the LCPD Precinct in Staunton Island to talk to Captain Wesker."

They cut to footage of a tall, blonde man in sunglasses standing outside the police station, talking to the reporters. This must be Albert Wesker.

He spoke in a refined, proper voice...

"This crime problem must be dealt with. Rest assured that I will not be incompetent like my predecessors. This city needs proper law and order, and I shall deliver it to them. We need to start off with the big dogs of the underworld. There is of course, the Yakuza, corrupting our youth with good drugs, hot hentai manga, and delicious strawberry pocky. Then, of course, is the Leone Crime Family. These Mafiosi may have a good public image just because they dress well and don't sell drugs, but don't be fooled by their surface. These guido thugs are nothing more than common criminals and violent sociopaths. I will stomp them out!"

Toni was alarmed by Wesker's public statement.

Did he say he's going after the Leones? Oh, shit! This ain't good!"

Then the phone rang...

Getting up, Toni dragged his bare feet across the soft blue carpet, picking up the phone. He knew the number on the Caller ID.

It was his friend, Itachi Uchiha.

Answering the phone, he said...

"Hello? Itachi? Is that you?"


	3. Chapter 3

"oh hi toni! I was just calling to see if you saw that gorgeous man slandering all you dirty crime boys", Itachi had changed over the years. Insanity set in…as did homosexuality.

"how do you plan taking it up with that man? Can you both do it shirtless while I watch?", the boys eyes lit up. He had gotten more girly and shonen than bloodthirsty. He just wanted to see naked men now and film it if possible.

~O~

Wesker wasn't one for many drinks, but when he did it was for good reason. Plus the bar tender was a rather intriguing character.

A sigh escaped his lips as he looked down at the shot he was about to down. Today had been a good start. He got a relatively nice apartment, had a good lay and got her fired, and had the chance to publicly call out the leones. Yea, good day. He gave a smirk and downed the shot. He set the glass down just as an odd man sat beside him. He had oddly blue eyes and blond hair. Almost like himself, but no where nearly as attractive. He was wearing a lab coat and looked very sleep deprived.

"bourbon please" he mumbled to the bar tender, not even looking at the man. He just wrinkled his nose and set the drink down as violently as he possible could without spilling any. "will you even learn any manners Birkin. Its starting to piss me off", the bar tended glared at the dirtier blond.

"sorry…its been a long day at the lab.", he sat his head on the bar, facing Weskers direction, whom never made eye contact.

"say, you look like a sophisticated man. Maybe you can understand the point of my research", he never moved but only looked up to the clean blond.

"if it's pity you're looking for, you've come to the wrong man", Wesker drank a second shot that was placed at him.

"oh no sir, it's immortality. Ive been trying to come up with a solution to never die. I've injected multiple people with the finished product, but only a specific blood type will work…you don't even want to see the failed experiments", he had sat up and was now facing Albert, a passion of science in his eyes.

"and the blood type?", Wesker had dreamed of immortality, and now, by fate, he had the chance in his grasp.

"it's better if you come with me, I shouldn't even be talking about this in public", he got up and motioned for Wesker to come along.

He got up to follow when the bar tender stopped him. "watch out for that one", he nodded at Birkin, "he's not exactly right in the head".

"thank you, but im more than positive I can handle myself", he turned and followed the scientist out the door.

\_


	4. Chapter 4

Toni was shocked, but not entirely surprised. He knew Itachi was becoming a yaoi guy, but he prayed to the Gods that Itachi wouldn't throw him in the mix. Sadly, it seemed he would.

"Itachi, you know I don't swing that way. Have you been taking your medications? You don't wanna end up like your brother Sasuke. He's the leader of the Konoha Aryan Brotherhood last I heard. However, I am heading down to Luigi's Saloon, it's the best little whorehouse in New Jersey, I have to talk with Joey Leone and Tuxedo Mask about the newgirl, Tifa. There's some hot chicks, and some sexy bishounen guys for you. I get to meet Tifa and sort out this unfortunate Wesker business, and you get to have hot butt sex with a cute anime guy. I hear Kakashi's working there today. Sound good to you? Well, I gotta go."

-An Hour Later-

Toni was lucky, he had beat the traffic jams that Liberty City is infamous for, and made it to Luigi's Saloon. It was owned by two people, Luigi Goterelli and Mamoru "Tuxedo Mask" Chiba, the former of whom was the consigliere to the Leone Crime Family. Joey Leone, the Don's son, would be there with Tifa, the newest member of the Family.

Luigi's Saloon really was the Best Little Whorehouse in New Jersey, it was voted as such in People Magazine and Reader's Digest. National Geographic did a special on it, and when MTV Spring Break went to Liberty City, you know they had to stop at Luigi's.

It was an elegant and ornate place, a hybrid of a nightclub, harem, and casino. The walls were decorated in fine wallpaper, while an immense crystal chandelier hung over the main floor. Fine art, mostly of naked anime girls and anime guys, as well as old-time steam locomotives, were on the walls as well. The soft sounds of techno music filled the room as Toni walked through the double-doors into the main room. It was a slow day, more harlots than customers, and nearly all the workers were naked, save for the bartender and DJ. Toni didn't mind, they were all hot.

In the corner of his eye, he saw a nude brunette with what appeared to be the best ass he'd ever seen, a big butt, but still firm. Toni liked big butts, and he could not lie. He also liked big boobs, and well, the female body in general. Walking up to the brunette, he spoke...

"Hey, ma'am, I'm looking for Tuxedo Mask."

Turning around, the brunette showed her face. It was Rebecca Chambers (Not like the booty didn't give that away), one of Toni's closest friends and the second-best fuck he'd had, second only to his girlfriend Aerith. Turning around once more to reveal that magnificient butt, she signaled Toni to follow her.

"Mr. Cipriani, It's been a while since I've seen you. Your mom's been worried about you. Joey Leone just left."

Walking up the stairs, they passed a naked male worker, a tanned genius with a ponytail named Shikamaru. He had a nice ass too, it looked feminine, like most anime guys do. Maybe Itachi was onto something with this yaoi thing? But Toni was straight, though after seeing Shikamaru, he'd might consider experimenting. As the seme, of course. He was too masculine to be uke. Ukes were always supposed to be cute, feminine, and adorable. He hung out with enough yaoi fangirls to know these things.

Chambers opened the door at the end of the hall to reveal three people: A pimp in a top hat and cape, a naked and tattooed Chinese-American woman, and a beautiful dark-haired mafioso. He knew the first two people off the bat, they were Tuxedo Mask and Ada Wong. The third must be the new girl.

Miss Wong spoke to Toni in that sultry voice of hers "Mr. Cipriani, it's good to see you. Be careful with what you say, the Enclave has this place bugged, and chances are, Wesker's gonna hear whatever we say on this line."


	5. Chapter 5

" 'kay, bye toni!," itachi chimed as he hung up the phone. He jumped up and threw on his nicest outfit and darted to luigi's.

When itachi arrived, he tried to eye out toni, but…no such luck. So he gave in to the thought of flirting with kakashi at the bar. That man sent chills down his spine every time he looked at him. He plopped down in one of the elegant barstools, ignoring the almost naked female beside him and found what hed been looking for. " haaay! Kashi-san!," Itachi thought it was adorable to shorten the white haired mans name. mainly because kakashi hated it and immediately called him out on it, meaning…more attention.

"oh, hello Itachi," kakashi's voice came out smooth, but no anger to be found. He walked over to itachi and leaned over the counter, close to his face, "calm down itachi. Todays not a good day to be yourself. There's lots of people here of a higher power. So please…tone down a little?".

It was a rhetorical question, itachi knew what kakashi was talking about, but he just hated when things went right…

~0~

Despite Wesker following some loon to an old lab, his cronies were back at the station doing his dirty work, spying in on whatever they could at luigis. A rat told him that important people would be there so he had called and had them bug the place before he had stopped for a few drinks.

The blond was cut short on thinking when Birking suddenly stopped, "here, Mr. Wesker.". he opened a door to a shanty, decrepit old place. It reeked of stale air and chemicals. And at the bottom of the stairs there was a small glow of light.

"this is your lab?", wesker asked, an eyebrow raised in almost disbelief.

"I assure you its sanitary. I was just forced to keep things on the low key while I worked." birkin replied while ushering in his hopeful partner.

Wesker went along down the staircase without another word. Its not that he believed everything people told him, he just knew he could handle things if they went wrong. When they were at the bottom of the stairs, birkin opened another door, the room had nothing but a ton of research and a lonely white chair accompanied by white walls and a white floor.

"see here, sir. I'll show you everything ive studied and my results", birkin immediately began flipping through notes. Wesker stood behind him, looking over his shoulder to eye the papers as he was talked through them.

~roughly two hours later~

Birkin had showed enough evidence to the power hungry blond that he was sitting in the white chair, waiting for birkin to inject the t-virus into him.

"immortality…", albert spoke vaguely, but dreamy at the same time.

"just remember, you must die once." it sounded crazy, but in order for immortality to occur, wesker needed a rebirth. Which would happen after his first unnatural death. Birkin warned him of the possibly failures of the serum. It wasn't perfect, but all wesker had said was "neither am i". he walked over to the younger man and put the needle in his arm, and injected it. It was done. The only thing birkin didn't agree to was killing wesker for the rebirth.

The younger blond felt it enter his bloodstream, and surge through his body, but nothing more. It almost seemed a flop. But in birkins notes he stated it took time. So the plan was to leave after the injection and check back in a few days later for a 'check up' type deal.

When the syringe was empty birkin discarded it. "alright…youre free to leave. Just remember to come back in a few days so I can check to see if your blood mixed with the virus correctly. I have the antidote, but I have a timeframe to use it in. so if anything seems wrong or bad, come find me immediately." birkin was so excited about his new candidate but feared he was telling him too much at the same time.

" thank you doctor. I will return on Monday at promptly 1500 hours." wesker rubbed his arm and took off for the station without a second thought or word.


	6. Chapter 6

Toni spoke to Miss Wong, "Ada, my dear, I think we need to call a meeting at a safe location. The Triad gangs down in Chinatown have been giving us a lot of shit lately, not to mention the problems caused by Wesker's increased pressure on the Leone Family, and Gods know what Sasuke and those skinhead punks are up to."]

The tattooed and nude woman nodded, "Yes, I agree. After all, I have a young brother who lives in Chinatown and he's fearing for his life because of the Triads. As for Wesker and his buddies in the Enclave, I'll see what I can dig up. After all, it's my speciality. The prostitute job is a cover, and as for this, I just like walking around naked. I'm crazy like that."

Toni, Tifa, Tuxedo Mask, Ada, and Joey Leone all crept out slowly and went to their cars, heading to a nearby safehouse in Downtown Liberty City.

_Meanwhile, across town..._

In the depths of the Enclave's secret bunker, Colonel Augustus Autumn sat in his dark office, monitoring Wesker's progress. He needed to let Wesker know that Ada was going to spy on him, as she had let it slip at Luigi's, as well as find more information on Toni Cipriani.

Sending him a text message, Colonel Autumn called for Wesker and Birkin to meet him at the secret bunker.

"Wesker, this is important. Meet me at the Enclave Bunker near the Observatory on the outskirts of Liberty City, and if you see Itachi Uchiha, bring him to me, he may be of use in bringing down the Leone Family and anyone else who stands in the way of the complete takeover of Liberty City."


End file.
